Sim O.N.E.

Pious Jerks and Kind Assholes – A Study in Bullshit

Most people confuse “being good” with “being polite.” They add “please” and “thank you” like it's a magic spell, thinking it's so pious and civilized.

But manners won't cover the fact that a polite jerk can still be a grade-A jerk.

Take the corporate world: it's just like high school, except everyone is too polite. When your boss says, “we could,” it means “you're going to.” When they say, “feel free to,” it means “fucking do it or get fired.”

The pious jerks: one hand on the Bible, the Torah, the Kama Sutra, and one flipping you the middle finger in the traffic while they blow through a stop sign to save a whole two seconds.

Pious jerks love company parties because that's how they behave anyway.

Then you have their opposite, the kind assholes. They act like assholes, but it's because they care.

They'll help you move, fix your computer, change a flat tire, and they will curse like a sailor inside the entire time. But they're there when you need them. They may even tell you how and why you fucked up. But they're not doing it to make themselves feel better. They're doing it because they give a fuck.

They know it's not just about how many 'pleases' and 'thank yous' can be shoved in a sentence. It's about the action.

A pious jerk will say “bless you,” but the kind asshole will hand you a fucking tissue.